It's Complicated
by MedicalNonsense
Summary: Lovino reflects on the relationship Matthew and Gilbert share and thinks about how their own unique friendship is just as precious as any kind of love.


A gift for My-Emo-Sunshine ;) She wanted a Canmano so that's what she got XD Sorry if it seems a bit heavy, I'm hoping I didn't end up disappointing you.

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**It's Complicated**

_Why do you let him pull you around?_ I wondered to myself, my idiot brother jumping up and down with his boyfriend. We were at a heritage festival for the day, I came because I knew Matthew would be here, Germany came because his brother invited him. There I stood, the wind blowing cold in early autumn, drizzling rain flecking my hair.

Prussia was with Matthew, _as always_, well, that wasn't technically true. I should say that Matthew was with _Prussia_ as always. Prussia… Well, the two were set to be married, it was a choppy relationship at best, but they both claimed to be in love with each other. Talking about doing a whole _commitment _ceremony soon.

Meanwhile me?

I saw it for the bullshit it was.

About three months ago, the two had officially stopped "dating". Yeah, not dating, but still "engaged". Prussia had taken up being more than just "good friends" with Austria, the sicko. He had officially said "Ve ahren'd dading anymore, bud I schtill lof you." Matthew, looking like he was about to break in two was then asked "Ve schtill on?" And, like the doormat he was, he replied "Y-Yes! I love you too…" They then both smiled and kissed.

The audacity of that man! I had witnessed many occasions where he had outright _insulted_ Matthew and the boy just took it in stride. Prussia had been a total bastard of the highest order! And he still was one! Every time Matt and I hung out and he called to talk about something or another, he got mad when Matt told him where he was. It wasn't my fault he was too busy with his own little stupidities to take the time to see his intended more than I did. Or more than Cuba or America.

"B-But, Gil, we aren't dating anymore. You can't really say I can't hang out with people." Matthew had said once, only to be assaulted by the phone line with many jealous yells and the like. That day forward, it was just easier for him to lie. Now when Gil called it was "I'm busy, call back later, sweetie?" or "Oh, doing lunch with my boss." If their relationship had been even _remotely_ healthy, lying wouldn't have to be a part of it. I'm only saying.

"Hey there Lovino!" Matthew greeted me and the group I was with, Prussia holding his hand firmly while staring me up and down.

"Hey Matt." We hugged briefly, Prussia giving me his very politest (and fakest) "Nice to see you" ever. "What's up with you today?"

"Looking for matching rings." He declared happily, he and his fiancé sharing a look that sickened me to the core. Why did he bother with Prussia again? He fooled around behind his back, more like in front of him, I guess as Matthew knew about it. Many times Prussia told him "I can't love him more than you. I never will." I knew that Matt just clung to that by some weak thread. Someday, he would wise-up and see Prussia for all his awful lies.

"That sounds cool." I said, giving Matt the warmest smile my unaccustomed face could. Suddenly I felt another thing between Matthew and I come up behind me. His darker palm pressed to mine and I unwillingly threaded my fingers with his. Don't get me wrong, I loved Antonio, just not in the way he wanted me to. There were few people I cared about hurting the feelings of, sadly, Antonio was one of them. Officially we were "together" but it felt forced for me, something I had raced into so I could see what it was like.

"Hey Gil!" Antonio greeted enthusiastically.

"Yo Toni." Prussia smirked, raising his hand in a sort of half wave. My other two companions had gone off somewhere else. Feliciano probably dragged that potato-bastard off to eat some gelato or something. Antonio leaned against me and I had the urge to step away from him, only remaining in place so he wouldn't fall to the wet grass.

As the two of them started off on their own conversation, Matt and I began our own.

"How are things with you?" We hadn't spoken in a few days.

"Great, it's nice finally getting to see him." Matthew cast Prussia loving look and my chest suddenly felt so empty. Such deep devotion must've only been possible by this wonder in front of me. Even while being what I called unfaithful he _still_ loved and forgave that stupid bastard. There were times I told myself it was because of this quality he had that we wouldn't work out. I was flawed, nowhere near as talented or bubbly as my care-free brother. And Matthew was… So kind and accepting, the picture of the type of person I had wanted to be at one time but failed… I wasn't meant to have him. I wasn't _good_ enough.

"Yeah, its been awhile hasn't it." I rolled my eyes and he caught it.

"I know you don't like him, but be pleasant for my sake, please?" He smiled at me and I nodded, he more than _knew_ about my feelings for him, and I admired him somewhat for being able to treat me as he always had regardless. But some days were more painful than others.

"Yeah, yeah, no problem."

"Good!" Another of his smiles and we hugged again, earning us a glare from Prussia who quickly came up and took Matthew's hand again, "Ready to continue our search?" My blonde friend asked his two-timing boyfriend.

"Ready." His red eyes slipped to me for a minute before going back to Matthew and kissing his cheek. Just to spite me as usual.

"Hey, we're off, I'll talk to you later, alright?" I sighed and nodded, waving to him as he left me with the albino.

Like I said, some days were worse than others, but on good days… Well, those days were days I felt that it didn't matter we were separated by more than just conflicting emotions for one another. On good days, it was enough to sit next to him, share a bowl of popcorn over a shitty movie or debate the stupidities of politics. On good days it was _more_ than enough to run to him to rant about my stupid brother. And on very good days, it had to be the best feeling in the world for him to call _me_ to talk about his issues. Being friends was enough and neither of us would ever be willing to risk _that_ feeling.

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What did y'all think? Am I rusty? Do _you _think Prussia has the right to act the way he does or do you more agree with Lovino on this subject? Or perhaps you would like more of a background on the relationship before making a decision?


End file.
